In love and hearbroken

The month of January was the best month of my life. You proved to me that I had a heart, it might only be for you, but its there. I fell in love with you and now I have to deal with the aftermath of this. I have to find a way not to drink or cry myself to sleep, but it was worth it. Having you to love even for a short time was worth all the pain I will go through not having you. I know my heart belongs to you, but yours will never belong to me. In love and heartbroken. You are my only exception. forever...

I hate to admit that...

I hate to admit that I loved you.

I hate to admit that I still think of you often.

I hate to admit that I miss you.

I hate to admit that she is pretty.

I hate to admit that you make me want to cry.

I hate to admit that I'm still not completely over you.

I hate to admit that I would wait for you forever.

I hate to admit that I want to be done with you.

I hate to admit.

God blessed me.

God has blessed with some of the best people I could ever ask for.

My mom is always there for me and she takes me to the doctors every time I need to go. I love her so much, and she loves me.

Tanya is amazing. She would do anything to make me smile. She always has my back and she never breaks my trust.

Alx called to see if I needed a ride. She didn't want me to have to walk in the cold. That's a true friend.

Victoria loves me and all my strangeness. She will never betray me, just like I will never betray her.

WHY

Why did you break my trust?
Why are you apoligizing when you don't seem sincere?
Why would you do it in the first place? I never did anything to you.

to you.

I wasted so much time on you. I don't know why, everyone told me you were going to hurt me. I can say I don't think you broke my heart, but I feel so betrayed by one of my best friends. All our conversations on facebook and texting will always mean the world to me. You mean the world to me, even though we've grown apart and I'll probably never see you again. I am going to miss having you in my life.

Smile

Happiness is measured any way you want it to be. Mine is by how many times a smile or laugh in a day. I love to smile, and I love things that make me smile. My friends and the things they say always brightens up any day of my life. They can make me smile on my worst days and they don't even know it. I truly am blessed with the friends I have.

My opinion on trust

My friends are fighting. I'm not getting involved. I understand Tori and Tanya's point of view. They are sick of being there for Brooke and her pushing them away. They don't want to be the only one trying. Well I live 553 miles away, are they going to get sick of not being able to see me. I don't believe so. Brooke says she needs time to let people in. She's been friends with Tanya since 6th grade, how much time is needed? She met Tori in 8th grade, again that's a long time. I met her in kindergarten, is that not long enough for her to open up to me? I trust these three with my life, I tell them everything. I trust Johnna with my life too, I've only known her a year in a half. Well I am sorry Brooke I don't understand your point of view. Please don't be mad and please explain it to me. I am here for all four of you, I don't care if we met just last week, if I trust you, I trust you. I knew Alex a week before I said I trusted him more than anyone else besides Tanya. Maybe it was two weeks. I know who deserves my trust, I could know them five minutes or 17 years. Nothing will ever change my opinion on that.