Is it bad that I want to die?

School Work...

I don't like it when people affect my grade, I need control over something. This is the one thing I can mostly control. I need good grades, its the only thing thats going to help me. I want to be seen as an intelligent person. This is why I do so much work just to impress everyone. Its my only talent, school. :/

Alone.

Everyone keeps saying how they are here for me, so why do I still feel alone?

Misery...

Everything is getting to hard. I can't possible deal with it all and not have all this conflicted feelings inside me. I know what is right and what I'm not suppose to do, but none of that seems to matter anymore. I need someone to talk to, but I feel like all my friends have problems of their own to deal with, or they seem not to really care about mine. I can't fight this urge to hurt myself or someone else for much longer. I can't wait to talk to Dr. Wendell. Maybe I'll get my happy pills soon, and maybe they'll work.

Perfect for you...

I don't want to put the blame on other people, but my friends' relationships make me never want to date. My issues would be to much if I had to try and be persfect for yet another person. Today I was told "Being in classes with new people is an opportunity to make new friends." I don't want new friends because I can't be perfect for them, and hide all my issues just so they don't have to deal with them too. I can't be this person anymore. I need to learn to be happy with myself. If you expect me to listen to you and your problems, I will, but just remember everytime you do it takes away another part of me. I will never get any of it back.