I was told he cares. My smile lasted hours.

:/

I am so not the happy person I use to be. I can't even pretend to be happy. I've decided to get rid of everyone who doesn't believe i matter to them. I want to matter, and supposedly i matter to my friends. So why do i feel all alone? I'm so over it. I can't put myself out there anymore, I don't care about it at all. I need to work on being happy, work on myself. Nothing matters to me, and thats not good. I question life some days, I don't want to, but I do.

The way you make me smile, makes me want to live everyday trying to make you smile.

10th grade.

For the last few days I've been scrapbooking my 10th grade year. It brings back so many memories. TNT with Tanya, and us getting kicked out for her throwing paper at asshole Tonawanda kids. Brooke spitting gum in some chicks hair. Tanya teezing my hair and us going to the mall with no sleep. The mall again, but this time with Brooke and Tanya after me and Brooke ditched out on the last day of school. My birthday party where everyone was freezing except me because I'm a weirdo. Jonas 3D concert experience with Tanya, one of my favorite memories form that year, taking pics in the bathroom before hand. Ann and Jays summer party, one of my last days there. Darien Lake like 2 days before I left. I miss it all so much sometimes.

....

I should not be left alone, it brings back the thoughts of 8th grade. How I felt abondened and alone. It brings back so many things I just wanted to forget.